Fireworks

....I can tell it wasn't love I just thought you fuck with me

who coulda predicted Lucky Strike will have you stuck with me

Damn I kept my wits about me luckily

what happened between us that night it always seems to trouble me

now all of a sudden these gossip brags wanna cover me

and you making it seem that it happened that way because of me

but I was curious and I'll never forget it baby

what an experience you coulda been the one but it wasn't that serious

their was smoke in the air before now its me clearing it

that felt good, all and all I learned a lesson from it though

you never see it coming you just get to see it go ...
- Drake "Fireworks"

There are many Hip-Hop pundits who are complaining about "Thank Me Later," but I'm not......

I don't buy albums for the status quo, I buy the hoping an artists will be able to lay out some heartfelt and emotional piece of genius work, that will have a direct correlation with my life experiences. No, I haven't lived the life of a rapper; (by some accounts...) having millions of people watch my every move, spending insane amounts of money, or years spent on the road. However; the mental and emotional side of "the life" has been a constant struggle in my life. A variety of artists, from Jay-Z to Coldplay to M.I.A, have put their emotions on wax and allowed me to realize that their are people out here going through similar experiences and emotions.

The few bars above have given me pause since "Thank Me Later" dropped June 15. There have been more than a few women to grace me with their presence throughout me life, and rather than being bitter or indifferent about the way certain situations worked out, I'm thankful due to the fact each of them has had an impact on my life, in some way, big or small. Impact can mean a variety of things, from that one night on spring break to years spent in a relationship.

There have been so many nights spent in the company of some young lady and I say it with modesty, rather than bragging. Once you've (for lack of a better phrase) "been around the block" a few times, all the talk of being a "player" and having sex with an unconscious amount of women, seems rather insecure and childish. (If you take offense, pull your skirt up, "we off that.") There are more than 3 billion women in the world, and the overwhelming majority of them will never have an impact on my life. Moreover, those who are in my life seldom have the power to adequately change the scope of the way I think, or bring about any kind of emotion. To say I've become numb is unfair to those who have feelings for me, but honestly its the truth. I don't get off to women constantly telling me how great I am (because I'm not). Yes, I will take a compliment and be incredibly thankful that someone would think of me in a positive light, but these simple words are not what gets me. Infatuated women, do not and will never have my heart. After a certain situation in my life, I thought that was all I needed... Someone to overly-appreciate things and pump my head up, but I learned quickly such relationships can become extremely played out. I've done a few good things in my 23 years, but I still have much to do. Those who understand this are the ones who give me pause, and make me question myself, thus becoming more intrigued.

In college, I never really found anyone who was able to pull emotions out of me, because most of my relationships were superficial. Sure, there were friends, who were simply that, but that's another blog for another time.

There are a few situations that come to mind when I hear this verse. To count them would raise unwanted questions; however with these women I saw something in each that sparked an interest. Call it curiosity, call it following the status quo, whatever you call it, I was all of the above. I pursued in a way that I wouldn't have to give too much of myself, but as the time spent grew I found myself wanting something more. The lack of options probably had something to do with it, but in their own special way they each took me away from the "college limelight" for a second to ride a rollercoaster of emotions, both necessary and thought provoking.

Thank you for walking down that hallway.
Thank you for getting on that elevator.
Thank you for not going off that night.
Thank you for not calling back.
Thank you for believing.